Chapter 58

“Come on, move your ass!”

The men groaned under the whip master’s evil rule. At five a.m. they were rousted from their cozy bed and forced to don sneakers and sweats. Much to Jack’s surprise, he made only three miles before he ran out of breath. Daniel was wheezing at two miles. Both men staggered to a halt and forced themselves to keep on their feet and walk it off. Sam stopped when she noticed her troops weren’t behind her and then jogged back until she found them.

“Wusses,” she informed them.

“Hhhhheartlesss,” Daniel sputtered, waving a dismissive hand in her direction before collapsing onto the dirt path and wincing at the bright sky above.

“I’m old,” Jack informed the woods.

“So?” Sam asked. “I’m heading up to the pond for a swim before we turn around. And no, I’m not wearing a swimsuit.” She turned and continued her run along the path. The men looked at her and then at each other.

“Now there’s incentive,” Jack said, groaning as he forced himself to his feet. He held out a hand and hauled Daniel to his feet. 

The pond was a small lake about two more miles into the forest. The path was on a slight incline and the men were feeling it in their legs as they half-walked half-jogged their way to the pond.

By the time they found the pond and attempted to drown themselves by sticking their heads into the water, Sam was already wet and splashing about. Her sneakers and clothing lay neatly on a nearby boulder.

“Cool off before you get in,” she called to them. “The water’s a little chilly and you’ll get muscular cramps if you’re too warm.”

“Yes, Mother,” Daniel called back. He fell back onto the dirt and huffed at the sky.

After about fifteen minutes, their bodies were at ‘room’ temperature and they began to undress. Sam came out of the water, dripping wet, Aphrodite stepping out from the foam as the sunlight sparkled from the drops of water clinging to her skin. She straddled Daniel’s legs and he fell back to the dirt.

“We have an anniversary next month,” she informed him.

“Yes?” Daniel caressed her cool, wet back.

“Are we adding five years to the contract?” she asked. Jack leaned on an elbow, watching them.

“I’d like that very much,” Daniel said. Sam leaned down and brushed their mouths together. Daniel relaxed, offering whatever she wanted to take.

“I’m ovulating,” she told them after a moment. “Are we going to do anything about that, too?”

Jack brought himself closer and put a hand on Sam’s lower back. He kissed a nearby hip and then Daniel’s mouth. He looked into Daniel’s eyes for a moment and then up at Sam.

“Is this what you want?” he asked her. Sam took a deep breath and nodded.

“It is,” she said emphatically. “Clock is ticking and I’d like to have a baby at least once in my life. I have a desk job and I’m not running around the galaxy, anymore. This is the time.”

“We do have that report from the Tok’ra,” he reminded her.

“I know,” she said. “We have thirty-two SG teams, now, not to mention our new Unified Worlds. We are a power. I’ll go on the mission if you need me to, but I’m needed here more than I’m needed in the field. We’ve handled a baby, four children, and our jobs for a year, we can handle another baby. If I get pregnant in the next few days, the baby will be born around May. Olivia will be in preschool next fall. We can deal with two babies for the summer, with Jerrie’s help. If you guys are not ready for another baby, it’s okay, I understand.”

Jack nuzzled her belly and licked a drop of lake water. He felt fingers on his back and looked at Daniel. The younger man smiled at him and pulled him down for kisses before turning their attention to Sam.

When Sam was ready, Daniel helped her onto Jack. She rode him, gently, firmly, taking him, her mind centered on their connection. Part of her imagined energy flowing from him into her. She felt the energy flowing from them and into her. Even more strangely, a greater energy wrapped around all three of them, fusing their energies together, gaining strength as she switched partners.

“Are you doing that?” she whispered to Jack, looking into his dark eyes. Her own blue eyes were darkened with passion as Daniel caressed her from the inside out.

“No, honey,” Jack said. “We’re doing it.”

The morning was spent loving, swimming, talking, and just being together. It had been a long time since they had spent quality time without interruptions. Sam had dibs on their little wigglers. Come hell or high water… or snakes….. she was going to be pregnant by the time they left the lake.

“I have a request,” she said, being lazy and staring at the sky. Jack had thoughtfully found a small log and brought it over for her to raise her legs. She insisted that there was no medical evidence that raising the legs made the little swimmers flow faster, but Jack wasn’t taking chances.

“Another one?” Jack asked. He turned his head, blinking sleepily. She made a half-hearted swipe at him.

“If we have a boy, I’d like to name him Jacob.”

Jack smiled and took her hand, lacing their fingers.

“I thought that was a given,” he said.

“Jacob Charles?” she said, turning to look at him. Jack stilled and then leaned over to brush her lips.

“Thank you.”

“And if it’s a girl, Claire Marie,” Sam continued. Her mother’s name. Daniel spread a hand across her belly and nuzzled her shoulder.

“Last name Carter?” he asked.

“Would it bother you?”

“No,” Daniel said. Jack echoed him and leaned over to press his mouth along Daniel’s spine. “This is new territory for us. Two men, one woman -it makes sense for the baby to have the mother’s name. Jack?”

“I'm fine with it.”

Daniel lay his head close to hers, smiling as Jack couldn’t decide whose skin to lick. “What do you remember about your mother?” he asked.

Surprised, Sam considered it. “I remember that she was beautiful,” she said. “I always felt like an ugly duckling next to her, but she insisted I was her greatest creation. She liked to paint. She wasn’t very good, but it made her happy to paint. She was better with gardens. And she could sew. She made a lot of my dresses and jumpers. She also made the curtains and bedspreads. I remember that she would go on a sewing spree during the summer and donate things for the Christmas clothing drive. She despaired that I didn’t have a talent for fabric.

“I remember her being sad and angry that Dad was away so much, and when he was home he couldn’t talk about his work. I remember that family get-togethers were always a little weird. My grandmother, mom’s mother, was Jewish, and there was always an argument breaking out between a Jew and a Christian. I went to classes for both religions just to please both sides of the family, but I didn’t want to go. 

“One time when Dad was home, I told him I didn’t want to go to the classes and he told Mom I didn’t have to go. They fought over it but in the end Dad won. He said he wasn’t going to fight for the Constitution only to have his kids be denied their rights. Hmmm. Now that I think about it, I can see why Mom was so frustrated. She was home, raising us, making the decisions, only to have Dad come home and over-turn everything when he didn’t know what was going on in our lives.”

Jack squeezed her hand. “She should have been around to know the man he eventually became,” he said gently.

Sam nodded. “Yeah, he turned out pretty good. Selmak did a good job raising him.”

The men chuckled in agreement, remembering the odd arguments between the man and his symbiote.

“And how did Mark fit into everything?” Jack asked. Sam stopped smiling.

“Not well,” she said. “He understood even less why Dad wasn’t home. He wanted to do father-son things, like the other boys on the street. Dad always made promises and then Mark would get stood up. I’ve tried. It was hard for me to get together with him after I became involved with the Stargate. When I was home I would call him and invite him over. Spend some time together. He was always busy with his own work. I guess Dad did teach him something. I may have helped.”

Daniel leaned up to look at her. “No, Sam,” he said. “Mark is a big boy, he makes his own choices. Don’t give up on him. Keep trying. Have you told him what you just told us?”

Sam thought about it and shook her head. “No, I don’t think I have,” she admitted. “We were never very communicative.”

“Maybe someone needs to make the first move,” Daniel suggested.

“Dad and I tried, just after Selmak healed him,” she said. “But with Dad off-world so much, Mark went back to his old self.”

“Alright, so keep trying,” Daniel told her. “He knows why you two were distant, now make him understand that you need him, too.”

“Why don’t you invite him and Susan to be godparents to the baby?” Jack suggested. 

“If I can get through the first trimester, I’ll ask Mark and Susan if they’d like to participate,” Sam said.

Jack covered her stomach with his hand and then leaned down to nuzzle at the silky skin. “Did you talk with the doctor about getting pregnant?”

“Yes, I did,” Sam nodded. “She said I’m fine and my uterus is healthy. I had Carolyn run tests and she said all the hormone replacements are out of my system. My hormones are normal.”

By the end of the week, the men were exhausted from doing their ‘duty’ for their wife. By the end of the week, Sam was ready to declare a moratorium on sex. The kids were happy that school was starting and they wouldn’t need to shut their eyes whenever they entered a room. The parents had been weird all week.

The Tok’ra reported in and told them that the new Goa’uld leader was calling himself Vishnu. Everyone in the meeting looked at Daniel.

“Hindu,” he said. “Vishnu was one of the Trinity in the Hindu pantheon. Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva. Vishnu was the Preserver god. One of his aspects was also Hari, the Remover. He rests on the bed of the powerful, coiled serpent, Seshanag, who represents the sleeping universe.”

“So we are looking at possibly three Goa’uld,” Landry said. Daniel shrugged.

“It’s possible,” he said. “Then again, the Hindu pantheon has about three hundred gods. If the Goa’uld are using a new pantheon…”

“Why our gods?” Landry asked. “I mean the gods from Earth legends? How about picking on other worlds?”

“There are very few worlds that developed their own legends,” Daniel said. “Most worlds were subject to the Goa’uld, so the people didn’t invent deity. We did because our enslavement ended before most legends were written down. Also, remember that the Goa’uld deliberately kept their slaves from growing too much.”

Landry looked around the table. “Well, I guess that makes as much sense as anything else,” he said. “Thank you, Dr. Jackson. Malek, would you be so kind as to outline the location of these new Goa’uld?”

“Certainly.” Malek stood and went to the star map. “Tau’ri is here. Along this border is what you call the Pegasus galaxy, this is the galaxy Ida which belongs to the Asgard, and the Masharu are here. The Goa’uld Vishnu is taking control here.” He put a marker along a far border, on the opposite side of the known galaxy in which they lived.

“Do we have any images of this Vishnu?” Jack asked.

“We do,” Malek said. He took out a small camera, one of the few Tau’ri toys the Tok’ra conceded was usable. Sam plugged it into the computer and they looked through the frames. Daniel frowned and looked closer.

“The hosts look Indian,” he commented. “East Indian, not American. Someone’s been raiding us.”

“Not with the updates we’ve been putting into the mikku,” Jack said firmly.

“This would have been long before we got our hands on it,” Sam told him. “But the Indian population is probably where the Goa’uld got the idea of Hindu gods.” Daniel had to agree.

“The planet in question has many of these people,” Malek said as he flipped through the images. “They appear to have been there for quite some time, as Col. Carter suggests. Their Gate no longer exists although there is an area far from the villages where the soil has a high concentration of refined naquadah. It is not natural to the planet. We have a theory that a Gate once existed there, but it was destroyed.”

“And the naquadah is the remnants of it,” Sam pieced together.

“Correct,” Malek said.

“Wait,” Jack raised a hand. “How can a primitive people destroy a Stargate?”

Malek cocked his head. “We don’t know.”

“Do we know anyone on the other side of that border?” Landry asked, tapping on the map.

“We have explored partially over the border,” Malek said. “We found no inhabited planets. There may be more farther in, but our ships do not have the energy.”

“And ours do,” Jack said. He stepped up to the map, studying it as something gnawed at him. He tapped on a planet. “Isn’t this Aschen territory?” 

Sam looked closely at the ID. “I think it is,” she said. Daniel looked at them and then at the map.

“Soooo…. how did those people keep the Aschen away?” he asked.

“And yet get taken by a new Goa’uld,” Sam said.

“Maybe the Goa’uld was there all along,” Daniel said. They looked at him. “Someone had to get them from here to there, and if they’ve grown so much, it was quite a while ago. Look, guys, we’ve found several here on this planet. Locked in stasis. Set was running around for a couple thousand years. Why couldn’t there be one or more in stasis on that planet?”

Jack pointed to the images of the natives. “Do you think those people were capable of capturing a Goa’uld and locking it up?”

“No,” Daniel said. “Who locked up the ones left here? I got the impression that they locked themselves up when they saw the writing on the wall. After the rest of the Family left, they were supposed to come out of hiding and take over. Keep this planet for themselves. Why couldn’t something like that have happened there? Set was smart enough to blend into the crowd and make himself at home for a millennium.”

Jack paced as he thought about it. “Do we have anyone of Indian descent on a team?” he asked.

“Yes,” Landry and Reynolds said together. Reynolds sent an apologetic look at Landry. The general tapped the computer. “Lt. Tarik Bhat, Capt. Dharmasena Sharma, Dr. Rakesh Shastri, and Lt. Yashodhara Mahadevan.” Landry was pretty sure his tongue was going to twist off. “Wow,” he breathed. “If we’re going to put in a team of entirely Indian personnel, I’d like a colonel in there. We don’t have an Indian colonel.”

Jack nodded to Sam and she brought up the national database. “We have six colonels of Indian descent,” she said. “None are currently SGC trained.”

“Only six?” Daniel asked. Sam tilted a shoulder.

“For some reason we don’t have a lot of Indians in our military,” she commented.

“Let’s talk with General Singh,” Jack said, arms crossed thoughtfully as he stared at the map. “India is a problem at the moment, but Singh has been arguing our case. He knows his officers; let’s see if he can recommend a colonel.”

After waiting for daytime in India, General Singh came up with three colonels for the offering bowl. Mythili Bhusnurmath, Narendar Pani, and Bodhisatva Ganguly. Singh was shocked at the reason why Jack wanted a colonel on board at the SGC. He was sending all three for immediate training.

So far, the new Goa’uld were staying in their own backyard; the SGC had time to get their act together while UW ships secretly patrolled the infected quadrant. The Goa’uld of that area didn’t seem to have ships and the UW wasn’t quite sure what the Aschen were up to or why the Aschen avoided the planet that was currently under surveillance.

While Jack drove them to HomeSec, Daniel looked at his cell, frowning at the missed message, and pressed the green button to play the video. His daughter’s face was close to the screen.

“Daddy,” she hissed quietly, not wanting to be overheard. “Our new health class teacher is making us sign a piece of paper saying we will all stay virgins until we’re married. I realize that I’m not ready to do that stuff, but I don’t think she should be making us sign this. Look at it.” She held a paper up, but Daniel couldn’t see it. Jessica Bosco and a few other girls moved in close behind Stacey to look into the camera.

“Yeah, Dr. J,” Jessie said. “Bogus!”

“Bogus!” the girls echoed.

Jack turned the corner instead of continuing straight to their offices. They checked in with school security and walked to the principal’s office. A few kids in the halls saw them and stood wide-eyed, watching them.

“Uh oh, all three?” Mrs. Herbert questioned when they entered her office. “What’s wrong?”

Daniel played Stacey’s message for her. Her face fell and she shook her head.

“I’m very sorry,” she said. “Mrs. Talmidge is new and a little conservative. I will speak to her.”

“And no signing pieces of paper without us first getting a chance to look them over,” Daniel insisted.

“Yes, of course,” she nodded. “This should never have happened, Dr. Jackson; I’m terribly sorry. You’re right; this is something that should have been taken to the parents first.”

The door burst open and a woman hurried in, stopping short at the sight of the crowded office.

“I’m sorry,” the woman said, irritated. “I need a little help. My class….. well, they’re staging a sit-in.”

“A what?” Mrs. Herbert stood.

“A sit-in!” the woman hissed. “That….. Jackson girl is behind it!”

Mrs. Herbert bit her lips hard to stop from laughing as she looked at her other guests. “Mrs. Talmidge, this is Dr. Jackson, Colonel Carter, and General O’Neill. I’m sure they can help.”

Daniel crossed his arms and peered at the woman. “And you feel that my eleven-year old daughter is in danger of losing her virginity because…..?” He waved a hand in confusion.

The woman was even more flustered and patted her perfect hair. “Pre-teen children are having sex, Dr. Jackson. Thirteen-year olds are having babies and STD’s! If the parents cannot control their children and guide them on the right path, then it needs to be done here and early enough to stop them.”

“I see,” Daniel nodded. “Well, that’s … presumptuous of you. Number one. And two, you did not get permission to even be discussing sex ed with my daughter much less have her sign a pledge, and three, if you had bothered to ask, my daughter could probably teach a sex ed class. It wouldn’t be the first time, just ask a few of the other kids. Where did you say she was?”

The small parade made their way through the halls and up a flight of stairs. They looked through the window of the classroom door and saw all the kids sitting on the floor under the windows across the room.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have let her watch Hair,” Jack said. They went in and stopped in the middle of the room. A few of the kids, SGC kids, saw Jack and gulped before toughening up and straightening their backs against the wall. Stacey saw all three of them and knew she was in trouble.

Daniel looked on the desk and found a pile of papers. “No one is signing anything,” he said. The kids looked at each other and began to relax. Daniel made sure the papers were the right ones and tore them up. Mrs. Talmidge was quickly silenced by the principal.

“Daddy….”

“No,” Daniel held up a hand. “It’s the first week of school. You couldn’t have waited at least a month before resurrecting Che Guevara? Negotiations and contracts first, revolution last. You’ll apologize to Mrs. Talmidge for disrupting her class.”

Back in the car, Sam looked at Jack and then in the mirror to see Daniel in the back seat. They both laughed.

“What?” Daniel asked, still pissy.

“She’s definitely your kid,” Jack said, chuckling as he shook his head. Daniel shoved his glasses up.

“Revolution is not always the first answer to a situation,” he said. “Besides. I think she gets this from you. I talk, you act.”

Once at the office, Sam used the arch to get to her own office and hustle her staff into getting the newest ships readied. 

Around the world there were three Yards with the new 304’s almost ready for trial launches. The ships were slightly smaller, but packed more power in their punches. They were being made for battle, not cruising the galaxy. 

Japan, still not a member of HomeWorld Security, protested, insisting that the US had plans on usurping its authority by aiming the ships at unaligned countries. Jack ignored Japan, treating the island as though it didn’t exist which succeeded in infuriating the Japanese Prime Minister even more. After the horror of WWII and then the Korean incident, Japan had begun to revert to its ever-present superiority complex and was taking it out on Jack. What Japan didn’t know was that Jack was closely monitoring the PM and knew the middle-aged man was having health issues. The man most likely to secede him was healthy and secretly pro-HomeSec, as were most of the younger generations. Jack was discovering that his new talent was an interesting thing to have on hand when it came to funding issues. Sending an unexpected birthday card or a get-well card to some unsuspecting fence-sitter got unexpected results.

“I’m heading to Scotland,” Daniel informed him. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with?”

“No, go on,” Jack said. “The lady seems to be more your territory, than mine. Don’t tell her much. If she doesn’t agree to join us, I don’t want her having information to spill.”

“And all the Skaara stuff?” Daniel gently asked, remembering his wife's pup-friendly little brother..

Jack shrugged. “I scanned the kid,” he said. “If our Skaara is in there, I couldn’t sense him. It’s probably a coincidence.”

“You don’t believe in reincarnation, anyway,” Daniel said.

“This is true. De-ascending yes, reincarnation no.”

“Something about those pics the Tok’ra brought in are bugging me,” Daniel said. “I’d like to take them with me.” Jack handed him the small recorder. Daniel smiled and pecked Jack’s mouth before heading off with a couple of SF to the al'kesh.

“Colonel,” Jack said as he went into Davis’ office.

“Good morning, sir,” Paul said.

“Good morning. Colonel, I promised to pass on a message. You’re scaring the neighbors.”

Paul wrinkled his forehead. “Sir?”

“You and Nick, playing in the wide outdoors,” Jack said. “Apparently the neighbors are having a problem explaining to their kids why they can’t play in the woods anymore. Outdoors is fun, I’m all for it, just try and take it a little more out of the way. We’re having to take the same advice, so don’t feel picked on.”

“Yes, sir,” Paul said, slightly red-faced. 

“Let’s talk about Goa’uld.” Surprised, Paul nodded and leaned back to listen. He was shaking his head an hour later and rubbed his face.

“This really isn’t what we need,” he said. Jack had to agree.

“We have time,” Jack said. “So far, they are only showing up on that planet. It seems their ships do local planets only. I’m sure there are other Goa’uld still out there; they’ve been keeping their heads down with Jaffa that haven’ left them. I’m concerned about these because of the Aschen.”

Paul slowly nodded. “The combination,” he began and then shuddered.

“We can’t let that happen,” Jack said. He hesitated, drumming his fingers against the arm of the chair. “Listen, Paul…. This doesn’t go anywhere. Sam is trying to get pregnant. If she does, and whatever is going to happen does happen out there, I won’t be going. I won’t leave her pregnant or trying to deal with two babies in the house. Any action will be a UW mission and I trust our commanders to deal with this. So far, I don’t see a necessity for me to be there.”

“Will you be sending me?” Paul asked.

“I don’t know yet,” Jack said. “We have three Indian colonels coming in for SGC training. India-Indian. They will possibly be heading an away mission, undercover, to find out what’s going on. We’ll decide a plan of action when they get back. We’re not in a rush, so life goes on.”

“Yes, sir. And best wishes for a baby.”

“Thank you.” Jack smiled, suddenly realizing that by the following summer there might be a little Jake or Claire in the house.

“Sir?” Paul leaned back in his chair, tilting it far back as he thought. “Why now?”

“Sam wants a baby,” Jack began.

“No, sir; that new Goa’uld,” Paul said, tapping a pencil thoughtfully against his mouth. “Where’s he been? Why haven’t the Aschen taken over that planet? You said there’s no evidence of Goa’uld technology, so how were the locals protected from the Aschen while a new Goa’uld could get in and take over?”

“Those questions are being worked on,” Jack told him. “Daniel is speculating that there was a stasis chamber.”

Davis nodded. “That would make sense, I guess,” he said, not quite convinced.

“You don’t think so?” Jack asked, hearing the doubt.

“I’m not sure,” Paul said. “Daniel’s the archaeologist, not me, though, it’s just…. something isn’t clicking. We should know by now that the Goa’uld aren’t always what they seem.”

“Well, let’s see what our new agents come up with,” Jack said. He had to agree –something was going on. More than what the Tok’ra had realized.

As he walked the short distance back to his office, he found himself stopping to check in with people. Cassie smiled prettily and pecked his cheek, Abigail had papers spread out everywhere in organized chaos. Other admin assistants hustled about through the halls, getting their daily work done, while lab techs wandered around the military, discussing everything from particles and quanta to the latest episodes of something called Tripping the Rift and Eureka. 

As Jack walked, pausing to sign things or settle something, he realized he was edgy. He considered the ‘vibes’ and decided to give Jerrie’s idea a try. He found a quiet conference room and ordered an SF to make sure he wasn’t disturbed.

It was easier to visualize the planet by using a satellite pointed at Earth. Jack brought up one of the satellites on a monitor and relaxed into a chair. There was nothing unusual happening in his own country, Canada was its usual happy, laid-back self, Mexico, South America, various islands, a few small upsets in Africa, England was settling at the end of a work day, western Europe fine, the Middle East was being their usual cranky selves, General Singh in India was up late, worrying, Russia was feeling more self-assured as their role in the modern world continued to grow, China…..

Jack jumped to his feet and picked up the phone.

“This is O’Neill. There’s a problem brewing in China,” he said when the line was answered. “I highly recommend any of our agents over there to keep a close eye on Beijing and cover Tien. Something’s going to start by midday their time. Positive.”

Just before Jack was ready to leave for home, he was called and told that a group of Chinese rebel forces were taken into custody and charged with treason. If they had been poor farmers or students, he could have felt some sympathy for them. 

These particular rebels wanted China closed off to the imperial madness that was happening to the planet, and return to old ways. They wanted an emperor and the war lords returned to power, since no other form of government seemed to be able to gather the country together and recreate a once great nation. Jack thought honor had played a role in the old times, but maybe he was mistaken.

“Point to the Old Man,” he told himself. Now that he had identified what the sensation felt like, he was sure he would be able to ‘hear’ it when it called again. And thinking about things, he had to admit that his nanny seemed to have an instinct when it came to ferreting out clues and obscure hints.

Sam came into his office just before he was ready to leave. She handed him what looked like a little .22. Jack took it and looked it over and then at her. She looked around the room and pointed at a plastic plant in the corner of the room.

“It’s attacking, shoot it,” she encouraged him. Humoring her and hoping the SF weren’t going to come charging in, he fired at the innocent plastic plant. Instead of a bullet coming out of the small gun, there was a beam.

“What?” Jack looked closer at it.

“The Tau’ri version of a zat,” she told him gleefully. She squeaked with excitement and took it from him. She flicked a small switch, pointed at the plant, and fired. The plant disappeared. Jack’s eyes lit up even more. “We used the body of a .22 and rigged the zat technology inside it. In miniature! It has the same power as a regular zat! See this flat, clear surface on the trigger?” She showed him and he looked closely.

“Yeah.”

“There’s a microchip in it,” she said. “A biosensor. It’ll do a 3-zat for only people who get programmed into it. For anyone else, it will only do a 1 or 2 zat. You don’t have to hit it three times, either, just set it for three. It increases in strength, not numbers. You set it here for stun or kill, and for training purposes, it can be locked onto stun only by the trainer. Or whoever has the clearance programmed into it.”

“Sweet!” Jack crowed, taking it from her again and looking with new eyes. “How long does the charge last?”

“A thousand rounds,” she said proudly. “I know the zats last for years, but I don’t think it’s wise. We’re not Jaffa. There’s a small liquid naquadah cell inside the handle. About an eighth of the size that a staff carries. And the replacements are easy to install.”

“How’s it programmed?” he asked as he found the level switch. He pressed it and noted a small light dancing up the barrel until two lights were lit, pressed it and three lights were lit. He pressed it again and the light went back to one.

“The microchip is connected to our main computers,” she said. “The program will be accessed only by a few, well chosen people and each unit can only be activated by those people whose fingerprints agree with the program for that unit. You could, if you wanted to, give them to all the SG teams and have only a few commanders given access to the third level. Other soldiers could have access to two levels, and non-combatants would be given access to only the first level. Or however you want it done. You could trigger them all for second level in a war situation. Heaven forbid I should suggest you grant a third level for someone on a, shall we say, delicate operation?”

Jack’s eyes were in permanent OPEN. “It’s a ray gun!”

Sam groaned. “Please don’t call it that,” she begged. “We’ve been calling it NEMO22. Naquadah Enhanced Military Ordinance. .22 caliber.”

His eyes were no longer stuck open. “Too much of a mouthful,” he said. He looked at the small thing laying in the palm of his hand. “Grasshopper.”

“Excuse me?”

“Grasshopper,” he repeated. “The Men in Black already took Noisy Cricket. We get Grasshopper.”

They went to Paul and showed him. Sam told him Jack’s name for it. Paul wondered how to talk his commander out of it.

“Bug.”

They looked toward the doorway. Cassie was leaning against the frame.

“Why?” Jack asked.

“Because it’s little and cute like a bug,” she said.

“And it fits in your pocket just like Jiminy Cricket,” Paul said with a snappy smile.

“Consider yourself smacked,” Jack told him. “Make it an anagram,” he told Cassie.

“Big Ugly Gun.”

They knew Cass didn’t like weapons. Considering who she worked for and who her family was, it was an interesting suggestion. Jack looked at Sam and Paul.

“I’ll think about it,” he conceded.

Jack and Sam swung by the schools and picked up their kids before going home. Stacey was still pouting, but the adults knew she’d survive. They picked up chicken for dinner and noticed fire trucks and police cars a couple blocks from their own house. The kids wanted to watch. Jack sent them into the house with the dinner. The air smelled of smoke. A fire. The house up the street was half blackened and dripping wet.

“Started a couple hours ago,” Jerrie said. “I didn’t see much of it. The noise was bothering Olivia, so we went into Daniel’s den until things calmed down.”

The parents walked up the street and into the crowd. There were many families standing around, watching the cleanup happening. Smaller children were sent home, civilians mingled with their military neighbors. The police were doing their job at keeping people back, so the SF stayed at their posts.

“Anyone hurt?” Sam asked as they found Mandy and Maria.

“No, thank God,” Maria said, crossing herself. “Betty and Clyde were still at work.”

“Hey, Jack, how’s my sister?” Mandy asked. Several people nudged each other, looking toward them and whispering.

“She’s doing well,” Jack said. “She’s on a mission, but she sent you a note. A couple of Tok’ra came in today.” He dug the note out of his pocket and handed it to Mandy. “She’ll come home for a visit as soon as she can.”

“So how’d the fire start?” Jack asked.

Before anyone could speculate, there was a shout and the police began to run. Several feminine screeches arose from the crowd and people were shoved back. Jack urged their friends back and walked forward for a better look. When he saw what the police were running after, he stood still and watched, amused. Sam stood next to him, snickering as a naked man ran to a fire truck and climbed on.

“Oh my God!” A man and woman pushed past them, horrified. “That’s…. don’t hurt him!” the woman yelled to the agitated police and firemen. The man on the fire truck howled and pulled at anything he could, throwing bits of broken truck into the crowd. As several policemen closed in, the man ran up the ladder.

“Who is he?” Jack asked.

“My…. brother,” the woman sobbed, not even looking at him. Her husband put an arm around her shoulder, holding her tight. “He’s…. schizophrenic.”

Jack, no longer amused, reached and felt the jumbled confusion inside the man. He walked up to the line and eyed the young deputy who attempted to push him back. The deputy got a good look and swallowed hard.

“Sorry, General,” the man said and let Jack under the rope. Jack walked toward the main group and took out his gun, taking aim.

“General O’Neill, we’re not opening fire on him!” one of the deputies shouted.

“Of course not,” Jack said. “Just be ready to catch him. Move!” he yelled, waving at the men on the truck. They saw who was taking aim in their direction and quickly scrambled out of the way. Jack fired. People looked confused as the gun issued a tight beam instead of a bullet. The naked man on the ladder twitched and was silenced. A moment later he began to fall. The men on the truck rushed to catch him.

“What the hell is that?” demanded Captain Manners. He took off his fireman’s helmet and wiped his blackened brow.

“A bug,” Jack said, putting it back into his pocket. “The guy is just stunned. He’ll come out of it in a few minutes.”

“We hadn’t actually gotten around to trying that on humans,” Sam said, watching the men carefully lower the unconscious naked man. “Just a few animals. Small ones. Guinea Pigs. Various other rodents.”

Jack looked at her and then sent a feeler to the unconscious man.

“He’s alive. It works fine,” Jack told her. “Got any more ready? Good. We’ll send them into the field with a couple of teams. They can test the things out there. I don’t see that we’re going to get volunteers to line up for an experimental shooting. If they work well, maybe Andy and his troops could take them for a test drive, too.”

A few people were walking up from behind and sidled in next to them.

“You have a new toy and you’re not sharing?” Nick asked. Jack handed the bug to him and the other men leaned over to examine it with him. Jack recognized the men from the SGC, a SF and a lieutenant, and someone he didn’t know at all and didn’t seem to be military and yet walked with the same air of confidence that other men did. The men all had leather vests on.

“Sam’s Area 51 team just introduced it,” Jack told them. “It’s a BUG.”

Nick looked at him. “It’s a .22,” he said, turning the small thing over in his hands. “Not much better than a fly-swatter. How’d you get it to throw out a naquadah beam?”

“A couple of teams decided to have a contest,” Sam said. “See who could make a smaller zat. Those things are bulky. So one team used the body of a .22 and redesigned the inside.” It didn’t seem to bother her that she wasn’t the inventor, for once,

Nick noticed that she didn’t answer his question. “Is it going on the market?” he asked.

“Not yet,” Jack said. “It’s bio-encoded for certain people. Even if someone steals it, they won’t be able to use it. We’ll probably give them to the front line teams off-world and try it out in a few cities with the police.”

A child pushed the big men out of the way and stepped in front of Jack, holding up a scraped elbow. She pouted at him. Jack sighed, having known that this was going to happen. He stroked her hair and touched her arm. She smiled and ran away.

“I am not going to walk around the planet kissing owies,” he hissed at Sam.

“Can I have one?” Nick asked hopefully, carefully examining the small gun and ignoring the child. Sam laughed at the little boy in his face.

“I think we can arrange that,” Jack said. “That one’s mine, though. You’ll need to negotiate with Sam.”

She took Jack’s hand, linking their fingers and swinging their hands. “I think the dock needs to be rebuilt,” she commented. “Instead of paying someone to do it, maybe we can negotiate for a trade.”

Jack snickered as Nick’s eyes narrowed. “You are paying entirely too much attention to the queen,” Nick informed her. Sam shrugged and took the BUG from him, slipping into her pocket.

“Maybe, but she makes a mean cup of tea,” she said. “Make sure the sides of the dock are secure and there needs to be a gate on the end. Kids running around, you know.”

Jack smiled and brought their hands up, pressing his mouth to her knuckles.

“Maybe holders for fishing poles,” she said.

“That sounds good,” Jack nodded. “I didn’t think of that one.”

Nick shook his head and led his buddies back to his house where Paul was just getting out of his car and looking their way.

“Let’s see how badly he wants a new toy in his arsenal,” Jack said to her. “That was clever, honey; I never thought to bribe him to get the dock fixed.” He kissed her in appreciation.

“And I think that you can say no to adults, but the little ones need the owies kissed,” she told him. Jack wrinkled his face in protest.

“You look like Olivia just before she throws a tantrum,” Sam commented. Jack smoothed his face out and opened the door, ushering her before him.

“You’re mean,” he told her.

It was just after dawn when a body dropped into their bed. Jack opened one eye for a moment and then sank back into his pillow.

“Why is the Engineering Corps in our back yard?” Daniel muttered into his own pillow. Jack’s eye re-opened. He groaned as he rolled out of bed and went to the sliding door, stepping out onto the back porch. There were indeed a group of men in the back yard, all in fatigues and carrying supplies from around the side of the house. Fang was hooked up to his runner, watching the action, and wagged his tail at Jack.

“Soldier,” Jack called to one of the young men as he bent to scratch the dog. They all stopped and came to attention. “At ease,” Jack said and pointed to one of the men. “You. Who’s in charge?”

“Colonel William Grey, sir. Good morning, sir, I hope we didn’t disturb your sleep.”

Jack took a second look at the young man. “No, you didn’t, mister, thank you. What’s your name?”

“Cadet James Stinson, sir.”

“Thank you, cadet. As you were.”

Jack padded in his bare feet and pajama bottoms around to the front of the house. He found a truck that was being unloaded with wood and equipment. The cadets all paused and saluted, and once more Jack waved them on.

“Colonel Grey?” Jack called out. A man jumped down from the back of the truck and saluted.

“Good morning, sir, I’m Colonel Grey.” Jack returned the salute and looked at the man’s jacket. USACE patches.

“Jack.” He looked at the driveway. Nick was walking up to the house.

“You called in the US Army Corps of Engineers?” Jack asked. “For my deck??”

Nick snapped his gum, a glint in his eyes of what Jack had learned was humor. “Sam wanted the deck fixed. She didn’t say I needed to actually do it myself.”

“But….” Jack looked around. “Over night??”

“We weren’t too far away, General,” Grey assured him. “We were on a training exercise at the Yampa Plateau. These are mostly cadets from West Point. This isn’t an imposition, sir.”

“And I did tell you I had connections,” Nick reminded him.

“Yeah, but….” Jack scratched at his head and threw his arms out. “Alright. Colonel, I appreciate the help. I have kids and a pup, so the deck needs to support and protect them.”

“Yes, sir.”

Jack shook his head and went back inside to fall back into his bed.

“Wuss doin’?” Sam muttered.

“Nick called the USACE to fix the deck,” Jack told her. “We have a yard full of West Point cadets.”

“Are they cute?” she asked. Jack lifted his head and looked over Daniel’s back at her. “Well, I have another day of ovulation and those boys are much younger and stronger….”

Jack leapt over Daniel and tackled her.